Crash and Burn

I have not blogged in a super long time.  Not unlike most of my projects that crash and burn.  It’s not that I don’t like to blog I really like to share my thoughts.   I have found though I’m pretty boring most days I work and come home to go to the gym, eat dinner, school work, spend time with the fam, and go to bed.  I was running out of coolness 😉

So….

I have found two things out about myself.  First, I am driven my deadlines put on me by others.  Bill due dates, calendar dates at work, instructors at the gym.  I thrive on direction.  There are also things that I want to do on my own things that I am passionate about that make me want to do them (i.e. find out what happens in the last book of the Hunger Games so I read the whole book in two days or heading to the gym on a consistent basis).    Second, if I don’t find it’s important or valuable I tend to disregard it and procrastinate even if it should be important to me.

Once you are born you are set on a course school-college-career-marriage-babies.  On the path as many others I had thought I set my course.  School check, Career-Teaching check, College-Well I want to teach so I have to find a school with a great college of education check.  Then I graduate and bam I’m on my own.  No more paths that I HAVE to take. Now that I’m not a path I feel lost.  No ones telling me what to do now.  I need to figure this out for myself.  Along the way I have taken many “wrong paths”.  I actually wish for things that I “think I want” but it turns out I don’t want those things.  I need to slow down think thinks through and make a choice. NOW!

A long winded story later I head back to the beginning.  I have been learning so much about myself.  I’m becoming aware of things I truly enjoy or find come naturally. Why did it take me so long to figure out?  I’m not on the right course, but how to you get off without a crash and burn?  I guess we need a little burnout once an while!

two_paths

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