Who am I?

I have been going through what I call a “mid life” crisis now for a while.  It all started a few years ago when I started to question what was I doing with my life?  I started with this question “Do I want to be a teacher anymore?”  In the last year in a half i have solidified the fact that I do not want to be a teacher anymore.  This concept scares me because I have no clear answer of what I want to be.  I’m too scared to even take a chance “being” something else because I’m not quite sure where I would turn.  I’m floating through life unhappily hoping there will be a sign of what I want to do with my life.  So I start with the question:

Who am I?

I’m super funny.  At least I think so!  I have quick wit and can come up with sarcastic comments instantly.

I like mysteries. From way back in the day I was a fan of Scooby Doo. Even though the plot was the same and I knew the ending i still loved the show.  My sister and I use to write GooseBump type books where the reader had to figure out the mystery.

I like to write. (i.e. the blog I started but fail to keep up with because of my day job)

I like to learn about the body.

i like to learn about nutrition. (there is a lot of crap we put in our bodies)

I like to exercise.

New clothes excite me.

I give up if I can’t see the end.

I like to be productive.

I’m a procrastinator.

I’m determined to finish a project once I start.

I like to be around people.

I’m flexible and like to try new things.

I’m friendly.

I would like to travel more.

Crash and Burn

I have not blogged in a super long time.  Not unlike most of my projects that crash and burn.  It’s not that I don’t like to blog I really like to share my thoughts.   I have found though I’m pretty boring most days I work and come home to go to the gym, eat dinner, school work, spend time with the fam, and go to bed.  I was running out of coolness 😉

So….

I have found two things out about myself.  First, I am driven my deadlines put on me by others.  Bill due dates, calendar dates at work, instructors at the gym.  I thrive on direction.  There are also things that I want to do on my own things that I am passionate about that make me want to do them (i.e. find out what happens in the last book of the Hunger Games so I read the whole book in two days or heading to the gym on a consistent basis).    Second, if I don’t find it’s important or valuable I tend to disregard it and procrastinate even if it should be important to me.

Once you are born you are set on a course school-college-career-marriage-babies.  On the path as many others I had thought I set my course.  School check, Career-Teaching check, College-Well I want to teach so I have to find a school with a great college of education check.  Then I graduate and bam I’m on my own.  No more paths that I HAVE to take. Now that I’m not a path I feel lost.  No ones telling me what to do now.  I need to figure this out for myself.  Along the way I have taken many “wrong paths”.  I actually wish for things that I “think I want” but it turns out I don’t want those things.  I need to slow down think thinks through and make a choice. NOW!

A long winded story later I head back to the beginning.  I have been learning so much about myself.  I’m becoming aware of things I truly enjoy or find come naturally. Why did it take me so long to figure out?  I’m not on the right course, but how to you get off without a crash and burn?  I guess we need a little burnout once an while!

Help me I can’t work out!

Terrible week this week with the workouts. I’ve really been out of my zone since I tracked back in this quarter.  This is the slump I usually face this far into joining a gym.  I make it 5 or 6 months in and get into a rut.  I’ve started to make the same excuses that all people make-it’s too cold out, it will take up my whole night, I’m too tired, I have a schedule conflict.  I really think I need to start going in the morning.  I do find myself really tired after school and that seems to be my main excuse.  Any motivating tips to share?

I’ve been going back and forth about getting a stick or a form roller.  It seems like the stick would be more beneficial for the smaller muscles which I need to target.  My calves, hamstrings, and upper back always need a good stretch.

Driving in my car yesterday I had a blast from the past.  Nsync I Want You Back and SemiSonic Closing Time came onto the radio.  After hearing a song does it ever bring you back to the year, the summer, the dance or other moment in time when the song was the most popular?  Both of those songs were popular my junior/senior year of high school.  After hearing those songs I was instantly transported back to the late 90s.  It’s fun to reminisce about the “good old” days when all you had to worry about is “does he like me?” or “what am I going to wear to school tomorrow”?  Nsync can usually always brighten my day!  Do you have a song that brings you back to the good old days?

PS-Jamie got this water bottle from his work.  It is amazing!  It had ice in it 12 hours later.  Do you remember me saying I like cold water?  Well this baby keeps it cold all day and night.

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Sunday Confessions

Inspired by another blogger runnergirleats I’m going share some of my darkest secrets :).

Confession: I am so grateful for all of the great friends I’ve made while living in North Carolina.  It’s nice to find people who you share similarities.  I’m one luck girl!  Blogging has also created some wonderful connection for me.  I feel like I miss out when I’m not reading certain blogs. Its like catching up with an old friend!

 

Confession: Sometimes I think as I get older I’m more and more like my mom.  When I was growing up I use to hate when my mom would get angry and yell at us.  As a mother I find myself doing that to Breslin from time to time.  I stop and think… “oh no I’m my mother!”

Confession: I love all of the songs Coryn plays at cycling.  She is always knows all of the good songs before they become popular.  Some of my favorites are on this link  Sweet Beats. Enjoy! 

Confession: My flexibility sucks!  I have never been able to touch my toes.  Do you remember the sit and reach box in gym class?  That box was my worst nightmare.  I always received poor in the “sit and reach” category.  No one seemed to care though, except for me!  Now I do yoga which helps ALOT.

Confession: I’m addicted to pop/soda. Yes I said pop.  In North Carolina they say soda, and I have slowly migrated over to using that word.  (They also say y’all, but I haven’t went that far into the deep end).  I use to love Mountain Dew, but I have aged into the colas.  My preferences are Wild Cherry Pepsi and Cherry Coke.

Waterlogged

Happy Saturday!  I’ve been waiting for this weekend with Veteran’s Day on Monday we have a three day weekend.  This weekend will be full of relaxation, cleaning, and catching up with work.  Last weeks workout schedule was not great.  With tutoring I haven’t been able to get into the groove since I tracked back in.  Plus I acquired a cold late in the week, but I braved through a hot yoga class last night.  I really love my hot yoga on Friday nights so I didn’t want to miss out.  It’s the perfect way to end the week!  Especially after last week.

Here is what I accomplished:

Sunday-Cycling

Tuesday Cycling

Friday-Hot Yoga

Saturday-Some kind of strength 🙂

Highlights of my week:

1) Observation one complete at work.

2) My new Birchbox arrived in the mail.  Its like Christmas every month!

3) The turkey is out at Breslin’s school.  She is so excited for the holidays (so am I:).

4) Not having to tutor on Thursday night.  Working from 8:00 to 7:00 makes for a long day!

Just a thought:

After reading this post on the hungry runner girls blog it got me thinking about eating before working out.  I obviously try not to eat a ton of food before working out, but not eating before you workout seemed like a no no.  However it makes sense that your body what work more efficiently in “fight mode”.   What do you think about that?

I have really been trying to drink more water during the day,  I find I drink more when its cold.  I hate to do it, but I may have to buy water bottles to stick into the fridge at work.  When my water gets warm I tend to not drink as much.  I’m not a huge drinker in general so this has been a challenge.  It has been a work in progress.  Trying this app for the iPhone called waterlogged.

I hope you had a great week!  Have any exciting plans this weekend?

I’m tired of…….

Its Wednesday!  Half way through the week.  I came home from work frustrated.  So this post maybe a bit on the negative side.  Sorry ahead of time for my “bad attitude” but I need to vent today and this is my outlet.

 

 

SO here is my “vomit” of what I’m tired of lately…..

I’m tired of not being appreciated. 

I’m tired of working through out the day and never having a chance to breath.

I’m tired of not being able to go to the bathroom when I need to go to the bathroom.

i’m tired of not being about to have a lunch like a “normal worker” 

I’m tired of coming home exhausted.

I’m tired of having my name called every 2 seconds all day long.

I’m tired of being judged by certain people.

I’m tired of not having the patience for my child because my patiences are shot.

I’m tired of never feeling done with anything.  

I’m tired of feeling I’m never doing enough. 

I’m tired of trying to compete with my peers.

I’m tired of having no money.

I’m tired of working two jobs.

I’m tired of accommodating ours.

I’m tired of this messy house.

I’m tired of debating do I spend time with my child, clean or do school work?

I’m tired of not being able to workout because schedule conflicts.

I’m tired of my low tire pressure light being on in my car.

SO tomorrow is a new day. Maybe it should start with a Starbucks and a smile?

 

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
Eleanor Roosevelt 

Jillian Michaels and Form Rollers

I know it has been awhile.  Time is always escaping me.  We had an eventful week!  I was suppose to have my observation, but it had to be rescheduled so it was an intense Monday and Wednesday.  Then Jamie’s birthday and Halloween I can’t believe so many events were in one week.  I tried hard to make it to the gym last week.

Here is what I accomplished.  

Sunday-Barbell 

Wednesday-Cycling

Friday-Hot Yoga

Saturday-An oldie but a goody- Jillian Michaels-Workout 9-Body Revolution

I would have liked to squeeze in one more workout, but it didn’t happen.  This week I tutor until 7:00 on Monday and Thursday. it will make for a complicated schedule. 

This post is going to be a little random so stick with me. 

1) Form rollers-Who uses one and would you recommend one for me?  I have extremely tight calves and I have been massaging them out after workouts.  I just started using a pool noddle of Breslins and it feels really good.  Do you think its worth investing in one?

3) I tried to be a little more organized this month with meal planning.  My friend Cindy has been helping me pre-plan some freezer meals and I have to say I think I should do it more often.  My thing is I hate buying a ton of ingredients, spending time preparing and cooking when I can just go and pick up Subway.  I haven’t tried the meals yet, but I think its more convenient to have them prepared and ready.  I’ll let you know at the end of the month if I liked having them. 

4) Starbucks Coffee is way better then Dunkin Donuts coffee.  I had a iced white chocolate mocha on Friday and it was super delicious. I have been drinking Dunkin because its cheaper, but nothing beats a good Starbucks!

5) I was inspired to dig back out my Jillian Michaels DVDs after watching the Biggest Loser.  I popped in one of her Body Revolution discs and it kicked my butt.  I was sweating and felt accomplished after 30 minutes.  I typically go to a class at the gym for an hour.  I may have to add those discs in on the nights I tutor.

6) I’ve been trying to drink some more water.  My friend Coryn suggested I take gulps of water vs. little sips and it has really helped.  I’m able to finished more water then I typically do in a day.  Any other suggestions?

Slow Down

What a roller coaster these past couple of weeks have been.  With report cards, observations at school, and trying to get myself back in the work groove I feel like I need things to slow down a bit.  Have you ever felt like that? I woke up this morning with a sore throat.  This is my first sign that I need to slow down a bit go to bed earlier and chill out.  I regrettably I decided to nix my workout for tonight to prepare for my observation tomorrow and to go to bed early.  But as you can see I’m now typing this at 9:50.

Halloween is just around the corner and I feel like I’m going to miss it.  Breslin made me carve pumpkins on Sunday night (see our masterpieces below), but I felt a bit rushed because I was focused on schoolwork.  I haven’t watched one Halloween adult movie (I’ve seen several of kid movies thanks to Breslin).  I always like to watch Hocus Pocus and Halloween.  I know they are not scary, but they put me in the holiday spirit. 

Breslin is pumped for Halloween to get here.  She is desperately counting down the days until she can go trick or treating.  Her biggest dilemma is how to wear her car whiskers.  I know the troubles of a 5 year old.

Workouts are tanking this week. I really want to see if I can squeeze in some workouts before the week ends.  With Halloween and Jamie’s birthday tomorrow I think I might be up against some walls. 

As I end this post I found this quote that sums up my day:

Work is hard. Distractions are plentiful. And time is short.
Adam Hochschild

 

What is your favorite Halloween tradition?

How do you fit in workouts with no time?

 

 

I’m human not Super Women…

Its Monday and I haven’t blogged in days. I’m a mother, a teacher, a girlfriend not to mention I have thrown in daily blogger and nightly workout enthusiast.   Its hard to fit all of that into one day,  I’m exhausted just thinking about it!  Its been a rough couple of days.  You know the girl that gets out of a speeding ticket because she cries?  Well that’s not me!  No matter which tactic I try I always get the ticket.  In life things never seems to work out my way.

Friday equaled tired!  The first week back is always rough.  On top of stressing about report cards all week I find out that they have moved the deadline to next Friday Nov 1.  I scrambled all week to finish when it wasn’t necessary.  Ugg! Saturday we had our family pictures taken.  Adding to the drama we were 45 minutes late because we were stuck in fair traffic.  Everything worked out though and here are my favorite shots.

Sunday was a ball of fun (I hope you since the sarcasm)!  I spent all day preparing for an observation that I was suppose to have today.  Well it never happened(I know aren’t you sad too) and now I’m on for Wednesday. Wish me luck part two!

Work out schedule this weekend:

Saturday-Cycling

Sunday Barbell

Go me 🙂

So back to the beginning things don’t come easy for me.  I have to work really hard for things that come easy to other people.  I’ve learned that I’m not going to be the best I just have to try my hardest and learn from my mistakes.  Things must happen for a reason and set backs may be lessons to prepare me for the future. No questions tonight as I leave you with this quote.  Happy Monday!

Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.
Henry Ford

Come here Friday

Yes Friday is so close I can taste it!  I’ve never been so excited to see a weekend.  I’m sure you are all on the seat of your chairs wondering if I finished those lovely report cards.  The answer is yes!  Last night at 10:30 I typed my last comment and this afternoon at 4:45 I printed a copy of each just to “look over”.  Thank goodness they are going home tomorrow and they are out of my life forever (well until next quarter). Now I just have to get through my observation on Monday yuck!

Thanks to lovely report cards and the search for multiple copies of chapter books for my guided reading groups my workout schedule sucked this week.

Sunday-too lazy

Monday-yoga

Tuesday- library and Barnes and Noble book search

Wednesday-library and report card comments (Finally caught up on Awkward yikes Jenna)

Thurday- well I’ve slacked off the whole week might as well continue the tradition and rest tonight

Lets hope for a productive workout weekend!

Breslin is making bad choices at school again.  I’m not sure the reason.  She has never had problems before this school year.  I’m not sure why its starting now.  So our ride home today was in silence with her sticking to the story I’m not sure why I did what I did.  Being a “teacher mom” I find myself arguing two sides of the story.  One maybe she is acting out because she is bored at school (she just turned 5 and missed the cut off for kindergarten and we went back and forth debating on putting her in kindergarten early or keeping her another year in pre-k.  We went with keep her in pre-k).  Two she is starting to show her true colors and can be a bit mischievous.  My gut tells me she’s a smart girl and knows right from wrong. 

You’ll be happy to know I haven’t had a headache since Tuesday.  I’m thinking it has something to do with sleep because I went to bed at 9:30 on Tuesday night.  It could also be the fact that I had a bucket of stress dumped on me on Monday.  Welcome back to work!

Saturday we have rescheduled our family pictures.  I still haven’t gone and looked for something to wear.  My procrastination is seeping in again.  I’m hoping to go out tomorrow night and see what I can find.  My goal not to wait until Saturday to go on an outfit search!

What type of clothes should I wear?

How happy are you I’m done with report cards and you don’t need to listen to me talk about them anymore?